Dear, dear Thai rooster, where did you go wrong? We had such high hopes and expectations for you growing up. Didn’t your parents tell you to stay in school and complete your education? Everyone knows the value of finishing what you start. Well, it’s time for an intervention; enough is enough! We will no longer sit by and allow you to humiliate yourself in front of millions!

It’s not like I grew up on a farm in Idaho waking up to the sound of “real” roosters or anything like that, but one grows accustomed to certain things in life and when those things slap you up side the head you just have to stop, take notice, and make ridiculous blog posts about them.

But in all seriousness, Thai roosters just don’t sound right to me. Take, for example, this very manly-sounding rooster:

That’s the sound a well-adjusted, Ivy League piece of poultry makes. That’s the kind of sound that lets me know it’s going to taste darn good with some sweet chili sauce. But on the other side of the tracks we have the Thai rooster:

But there is still hope. You can change your evil ways and be an example of what you can achieve when you put your mind to it. We have faith in you!